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Name: William
Birthday: 10/19/1988
Gender: Male
Interests: Acting, theater, music, art, drugs, programming, civil rights, CQC, things I can't do, things I can do. Men, Women, whatever can float my boat.
Expertise: Top of all Java programming classes at my school. Lead roles in all three plays I've been in, Main Lead in my most recent one, Writing, writing for my zine, writing plays, oral sex.
Occupation: Computer related
Industry: Art
Message: message me
Member Since:
2/11/2003
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| Annie Hall
Gotta Catch 'Em All
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| I need to be around people, can't stand being alone. I am not the
greatest of people, especially when it comes to relationships. I lie, I
cheat, I instagate. I don't know where I am going with this, the mood
calls for me to write... I think something has happened to me, I think
someone has come into my life that makes me want to be different.
Beyond that, I know that I will be different. All the things I do and
have done, what were they for? I have to ask myself this, because in
retrospect I see no fruitation from the things I have done. Did I enjoy
myself while doing those things? -Yes. The overbaring climactic
pleasures from my acts is evidence enough, but I realise now that
enjoying the moment is (and was) nothing. A hundred women, a hundred
men, I can enjoy them all the same ways, I can use them the same ways,
but for what? For nothing, for the thrill, for the fact that I have
done those things. I know what I want now. What I want is to be
complete. Though for me completion is a forbidden fruit, of some sorts.
Those who know me and the things I have done will say the same, a
person like me shouldn't be able to find completion in what I know is
the only thing I can find it in. I am too tainted for such things. I
want her more than anything. Currently the seemingality of me getting
what I want is futile, every invitation is met with rejection. When
such a thing as rejection is tossed me way the usual course of action
is to move on, to forget about it, to give up. But in this situation, I
find myself unable to move on, unable to let go. It isn't that every
resounding "no" I recieve is met with apathy, far from it, in fact
every rejection leaves a palpable sting. The word "no" burrows into me,
under my skin, and it makes me ask myself "Why persist?" There a many
reasons why I am so tenacious in my pursuit. One is the feelings this
person fills me with. These feelings are new to me. Even with the
ubiquity of futility I still get the same glimmer of hope every time I
propose. For the first time I find myself more than just accepting of
flaws (character and otherwise), I find myself drawn to them. These
self-proclaimed flaws hold the same entrancing spell over me as the
person herself. Also, I, a person who will flirt with anything that
moves, who has at all times a list of backup prospective partners, find
myself completely focused on this single person. I find myself casting
away the others who come to me offering the things I, before this
person, chased endlessly. I actually feel that in this case it is
either her or nothing for me, no list, no backups, no what ifs, no
maybes. When she is near all I can do is gaze at her, all I can do is
romanticize the brief, and most likely platonic, encounters I have with
this woman, romanticize and idealize them to the point that I am seeing
shadows of a romance that is not there, seeing what I want to see. When
I am not near her I am always thinking of her. Thoughts of what could
be if I in the end get what I want, if I get her. Thoughts of how to
convince her, how to win her. Her sweater smelled so much of her, I
have no idea how I managed to return in to her. I think that one of the
most dominant reasons I have for my persistance is the supposed reason
for rejection. The fact that the feelings I have for this woman are
seemingly mutual, and the fact that this rejection comes from her
wariness to entering a relationship where she could be hurt like she
had been in the past are the conditions under which I give excuse to
myself for my determination. Maybe if it was simply that she did not
have romantic feelings for me things would be different now, maybe not.
All I can say is until do succeed in winning her heart, or until she
makes me stop, I will continue to persist. To end this I will simply
state the following; I want, more than anything, to be with her, that
the thought of doing anything that would hurt her makes me feel sick,
and finally that if I do win her heart, I want to (if I it hasn't
already happened to me) fall in love with her, and have her do the
same. | | |
| Don't ask why, but I cant print any of this from WP. But I am able to print stuff that is online so copy and paste time.
William Slattery
4/12/2005
Thomas Jefferson, brilliant man of mystery, or
shamefaced liar? Joseph J. Ellis, in his biography American Sphinx, The
Character of Thomas Jefferson, brings to the eyes of us the
readers the human side of Thomas Jefferson's life. Ellis shows us
that Thomas Jefferson was as flawed a man as any one of us. The readers
will be shown "the warts-and-all portrait" of Jefferson. Ellis
begins the biography by showing us the greatness of Jefferson, and
covering recent reemergence of this political figure. Then
besides all the positive points on Jefferson, we also witness the
negative. Ellis shows that many people see Jefferson as a
hypocrite, as one who does not practice what he preaches. Using
Jefferson’s affair with the black slave Sally Hemmings as a common
ground that all readers can finally agree on, Ellis begins the
biography. Ellis will shows us that Jefferson, though great, he
is still not the immaculate figure he has been seen as. This
will allow him to write us this biography on one of America's
most well known presidents.
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